Gotta have your protein, you know. I shouldn’t complain. I’ve already dropped a couple of pounds. By the time you’re reading this I might be a skinny motherfucker and then I’ll have to bulk up. It takes lots of cheeseburgers, beer and Deadlifts to bulk up. I like that idea. Deadlifts and Squats are probably my favorite weight exercises. Bench Presses are okay too. Apparently the names of weightlifting exercises are supposed to be capitalized..
I just realized I have no idea how many episode descriptions I owe the show. I’m writing it all as one big text document with no breaks, because I got a file with three podcasts in it with no breaks. Makes sense right? Right? Don’t you fucking argue with me. Sorry for that little outburst. As I’m typing this the last podcast that was released was the one with Eddie Brill. I know there’s been a few guests since then, the most recent one was Steve McGrew. I don’t think we’re that far into the releases so I guess that was a spoiler. You want to know another funny thing? Of course you do. My own episode descriptions are sometimes as short as five words. So by that logic, I just wrote one hundred episode description while drinking my protein shake.
Also, when you talk to him next spell his name with a “ph” instead of a “f” -- I don’t know if it pisses him off or not, but if enough of us spell it that way it will. As you’re reading this I want you to know two things. One, I’m on my second day of no beer and it sucks. Two, I just had fresh spinach, mushrooms, and bell peppers with a homemade mustard dressing. It’s very simple to make. You just add mustard, apple cider vinegar, and some olive oil to each and stir the shit out it. You might wondering why I wanted you to know this and that simple: I’m on a fucking diet and I fucking hate it. I don’t really hate the food I’m eating or even the going without beer. What I hate is looking into my fridge and not knowing what I can eat or how much of it I can eat. I can still drink coffee though, so life’s not all bad. do about it.
It’s funny how things work out sometimes. Sometimes you think you can do anything, like write episode descriptions for a friend’s podcast because he clearly struggles with English and I’m assuming his German isn’t as good as he says it is either. There’s nothing wrong that though. I mean most people come to this show to listen to That Frakking Cat anyway. It’s not that Rafael isn’t cool. It’s the Cat is cooler. I believe this is what the kids call roasting. Can I ask you a personal question? Does anyone read these? If you do, can you let Rafael know? Tell him I deserve a raise. Or let me know directly. Best way to get ahold of me is snapchat: availableinadhd. Yes, I just plugged in the episode description and yes there’s nothing Rafael can do about it.
This week Eddie Brill returns to We Are Not Here To Please You. Okay, I have to be honest with you. Sometimes I feel bad for Raphael. He sends me these audio files and expects me to listen to them before I write the episode descriptions. And every time I have the best of intentions. But you know what they say about good intentions? I mean I've heard the previous shows with Eddie Brill and they were really good. He's funny guy. Part of me would be ashamed of writing an episode description of an episode I haven't heard, but I already know how few people actually read these. I mean it's a simple formula really: use words you think people would search for. Like "Eddie Brill" and "funny" and "Finland" and... you get the point. And fuck all that for right now... My drink is empty and needs to be refilled. Plus it's late at night, which actually doesn't really much, but it's a thing to say. Don't judge me.
Let’s get down to brass tacks, I haven’t even listened to this episode yet. I’m writing this from an undisclosed location and don’t have much time. I can finally see the light at the end of tunnel. My soul is almost pure again. That’s why I’m in hiding. If Rafael finds me he might inject his armageddon soul destroying virus back into me. So for now, I have to stay in hiding.